10 Jul 2011

Housey Housey?

 Narrow street,
teeming lives hidden;
close packed doors
and windows
challenge people's privacy
with tight juxtaposition.

This is my shadorma, written for Neil Alexanders's photo as featured on One Stop Poetry's Challenge today.  
For those who are unfamiliar with this form, it consists of six syllabic lines, 3/5/3/3/7/7, and I particularly like it as an accompaniment to photographs.

Oops! Just realised that should have been 3/5/3/3/7/5 - sorry, people!
Posted by at

16 comments:

  1. Unknown10 July 2011 at 12:36

    its a lovely scene but yeah privacy must be questionable ...thank you

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brian Miller10 July 2011 at 12:47

    ha, yeah keep the blinds closed or you might get a surprise...smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Louise10 July 2011 at 13:14

    Interesting format, must give it a try!

    ReplyDelete
  4. dustus10 July 2011 at 13:26

    Cool form and love the wordplay in describing a "tight juxtaposition" among hidden lives.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Claudia10 July 2011 at 13:41

    at least you can borrow easily some sugar or milk...just a handshake away...smiles

    ReplyDelete
  6. imac10 July 2011 at 15:12

    Very neat, do they have shutters?

    ReplyDelete
  7. ds10 July 2011 at 16:56

    Great shadorma, Jinksy. Those narrow streets are always the most interesting...
    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maude Lynn10 July 2011 at 17:49

    Excellent, Jinksy!

    ReplyDelete
  9. hedgewitch10 July 2011 at 19:36

    Always love a shadorma, and you capture the claustrophobia this pic gave me well.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous10 July 2011 at 21:16

    Just don't forget to draw the curtains before one dresses in the morning...goodness, or the whole neighborhood would see everything... Tight little piece.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anna10 July 2011 at 22:04

    Excellent, tight shadorma!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Louise Gallagher10 July 2011 at 22:08

    FAbulous shadorma -- and yes, where is privacy in this photo -- which makes it all the more stunning for me to see a lone child standing in the roadway.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Unknown10 July 2011 at 23:58

    Excellent use of form, creating the feel of the dweller. ~ Rose

    ReplyDelete
  14. Reflections11 July 2011 at 05:52

    Love the shadorma... beautiful expression of the tightness, the lack of privacy... the lives shared, willing or not.

    ReplyDelete
  15. gautami tripathy12 July 2011 at 17:35

    Great shadorma...


    walk the past

    ReplyDelete
  16. laurie kolp12 July 2011 at 18:35

    I especially like this line:

    teeming lives hidden

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)