10 Jul 2011

Housey Housey?

 Narrow street,
teeming lives hidden;
close packed doors
and windows
challenge people's privacy
with tight juxtaposition.


This is my shadorma, written for Neil Alexanders's photo as featured on One Stop Poetry's Challenge today.  
For those who are unfamiliar with this form, it consists of six syllabic lines, 3/5/3/3/7/7, and I particularly like it as an accompaniment to photographs.

Oops! Just realised that should have been 3/5/3/3/7/5 - sorry, people!

16 comments:

  1. its a lovely scene but yeah privacy must be questionable ...thank you

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  2. ha, yeah keep the blinds closed or you might get a surprise...smiles.

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  3. Interesting format, must give it a try!

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  4. Cool form and love the wordplay in describing a "tight juxtaposition" among hidden lives.

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  5. at least you can borrow easily some sugar or milk...just a handshake away...smiles

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  6. Very neat, do they have shutters?

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  7. Great shadorma, Jinksy. Those narrow streets are always the most interesting...
    Thank you.

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  8. Always love a shadorma, and you capture the claustrophobia this pic gave me well.

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  9. Just don't forget to draw the curtains before one dresses in the morning...goodness, or the whole neighborhood would see everything... Tight little piece.

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  10. Excellent, tight shadorma!

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  11. FAbulous shadorma -- and yes, where is privacy in this photo -- which makes it all the more stunning for me to see a lone child standing in the roadway.

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  12. Excellent use of form, creating the feel of the dweller. ~ Rose

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  13. Love the shadorma... beautiful expression of the tightness, the lack of privacy... the lives shared, willing or not.

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  14. I especially like this line:

    teeming lives hidden

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