The Poetry Bus , being driven by
Titus, is now on the road. I've thumbed a lift after watching the very clever video which made me think I'd never be able to buy a legitimate ticket if I used the first set of words that filled my mind - they were too surreal! Instead, I've written the following ones on the thumb with which I hope to flag down the bus!
Cosmic
Your fingers caress the black and white keys;
rhythms of life cradled between your hands
fill the universe with stars. They light candles
in my mind as Earth and Sky and Sea
all merge within the music of your love.
Blue waters of awareness circle round
and oceans create life from out its depths.
The heavens spin with stars and melody
which nourishes the universal song,
until its spark ignites a wonder in us all.
wow - what a cosmic song - yes - it sings to me...
ReplyDeleteYou captured the essence of the video - with words - beautifully!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the wise women above - wonderfully done, and full of wonder. Works beautifully as a response to the video, but you have created a universal song here. I love the images of the candles being lit in the mind and the spark igniting wonder.
ReplyDeleteCosmic, my friend.
ReplyDeleteSome gorgeous word-choices here, Jinksy and it all feels very circular to me - omega-like.
ReplyDeleteI like the allusion to music being the rhythm of life - it certainly is!
ReplyDeletelovely! visual and motion-great one Thanks
ReplyDeleteGood one,great last line,you definately got the essence across with cosmic wonder.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this lots! and it is, definately, cosmic :-)
ReplyDeleteRocks! This line "rhythms of life cradled between your hands fill the universe with stars" spins some righteous imagery. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying enormously the poems that video sparked in us. You grabbed it and made it your own song. I'm curious to know what your initial surreal first line was.
ReplyDeleteAren't dogs clever?
ReplyDeleteAnywho, I read your poem, liked it, then watched and thoroughly enjoyed the video (like the idea of the vessel too) and then read your poem again and liked it even more.
;-)
I could sing a duet with you on this one, Jinksy.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed that. Well done, Jinksy.
ReplyDeleteCJ xx
Cosmic is right, lovely too, Jinksy, very good poem..Still I hanker after your first set of words and wonder what magic might have been within?
ReplyDeleteTFE - The same magic that there is in the second, better crafted version, if there was any magic to start with! First efforts are rarely worth keeping...
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the Everyday Goddess post of the week award for this, Jinksy. Everything about the universe ignites wonder and your poem captures that.
ReplyDeleteI could hear the music and see the cosmic display.
ReplyDeleteVery well done.