19 Feb 2011
Nature's Time Capsule
Warm-touch fire shadows flame
in eternal light.
No spider could ever weave
a tomb to endure so long.
120 Socks, driver of the Poetry Bus for 21st February, suggested the word 'Amber' for aspiring Ticket Holders, and I wrote this Tanka - a poetic form using 5-7-5-7-7 syllables in its five short lines.
The last line started life as "a web which would last so long." Then I changed it to 'a web of such brilliance', as it was the eternal light-flames that I had in my mind.
But my dear mentor suggested the above amendment, 'a tomb to endure so long', as it re-inforces the 'tomb' aspect of amber for the spider, as well as web for a fly! I can see his point, and thank him for the idea and the words with which he expressed it. If we change our collective mind again, there will be further edits!