I have taken a detail and adapted it to fit my tale, told in four shadormas - syllabic verses which follow a pattern of 3/5/3/3/7/5, in six lines.
Weary man
wipes perspiration
on his sleeve.
Fixing tiles
is not an occupation
which he can enjoy.
Heat reflects
upwards from the roof.
Summer sun
on his back
burns through the material
of a cotton shirt.
Only fear
of coming winter's
wind and rain
motivates
him to continue labour
with no thought of rest.
But when storms
rage round his homestead,
he'll rejoice
and recall
this day's work with gratitude,
all pain forgotten.
Isn't that the truth. He may resent the labour but, when winter comes, will be so glad he did it.
ReplyDeleteVery nice adaption of the pic and lovely prose to compliment it Jinksy.
laying tile can def be back breaking work, but winter is a good motivator...sometimes storms are just the relief we need...smiles.
ReplyDeleteyou have painted his pain very well
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a farmer's life. I think of Steinbeck when I read this.
ReplyDeleteI like the image, as well.
I like the "roofer" take here Jinksy...nice...
ReplyDeletelove your take on the prompt picture...x
ReplyDeleteNo procrastinator, he. Earthy take, to be sure.
ReplyDeleteI like the roofer image -- nice take on this prompt!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great piece ! labor intensive indeed- thanks.
DeleteShelter is a basic need. A home with the roof not intact will loose the ability to be a shelter very quickly. As essential as food and water, we need a stable shelter we call home. We also need art to create, interpret and enjoy. You have wrapped this whole idea of basic needs up inside your shadormas, through the roofer's toil, Jinksy. Thank you for sharing them.
ReplyDeleteI like how you extract and excerpt from the piece as a whole and make it your own. Weary man, indeed!
ReplyDeleteStrengthen the container, man !
ReplyDeleteHow very impressive ... your poetic form. Thoroughly enjoyable, Penny.
ReplyDeleteYou write to the form so skilfully. Kudos.
ReplyDeleteLike Helen and Other Mary, I am impressed at how well you used the form. It was so well constructed that it flowed, so the form did not intrude itself into the story or the poetic expression. Clever and satisfying.
ReplyDeleteVery clever!
ReplyDeleteI think you put as much labour into this poem as its subject did! Wonderful words, and a clever representstion of the painting.
ReplyDeleteCool take on this prompt.
ReplyDelete=)
I love what you did with the image. The summer heat sure would reflect off all those red roofs. Great!
ReplyDeletelove this form- and nothing better than a non-leaky roof!
ReplyDeleteExcellent Jinksy!
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
You have conformed to the form with great skill and the result is a very enjoyable write.
ReplyDeleteHis feet may be on the roof, but yours are still firmly planted on the ground. Just as it should be. Love it.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully expressed!'
ReplyDeleteHugs
SueAnn
Lovely take on the prompt, Jinksy, so true:)
DeleteNice thought... reminds me of lessons learned from Aesop's fables. :)
ReplyDeleteLovely form beautifully spoken! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is great! Labor's fruits sure are worth the sacrifice.
ReplyDelete