10 Sept 2010

Big Tent Poetry Prompt - Come One Come All 10 Sep + A 55 for G-Man

Things I should have said?
Important words -'I love you'.
Instead, I said 'No'.

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As it seems to fit with this subject, I'm adding a Flash Fiction 55 for The G-Man, so this is a two-for-one Friday!

Argument

The words came out wrong; inside, anger roiled until, like a volcano, an eruption of emotion flung skywards, to fall as embers in my soul. What use was this whitehot passion with so much dark magma as its bedrock?
All the tears in the world would not be enough to cool such a heat.

P.S. I suddenly realised I had the 55 written out in five lines of ten words, plus five, to make counting easier  - Oh No! I inadvertently commited the crime against which Mrs T is adamant! It wasn't ever intended to be a 'poem', only prose. Editor is now on top of things.

33 comments:

  1. Excellent senryu.

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  2. nice 55...passion can go both ways...lead to anger if we are not careful...and then we are in trouble....nice 55.

    mine is up..

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  3. When is a haiku not a haiku but rather a senryu?
    Off now to see what "up" means to Brian.

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  4. Mrs T -
    I wish I knew the answer to both questions! LOL :)

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  5. Well, I've found one of them...

    Senryu (also called human haiku) is an unrhymed Japanese verse consisting of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables (5, 7, 5) or 17 syllables in all. Senryu is usually written in the present tense and only references to some aspect of human nature or emotions. ...

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  6. I'm following this discussion with interest.
    So is this Haiku or Senryu?

    'Nay','Yea' seem trifles -
    "No" instead of "Yes", and all
    life sinks and stifles.

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  7. . . and I've got the answer to the other one! He's one of these merchants who think that using very short lines, no caps and minimal punctuation is either clever or makes his stuff easier to read. Sorry Brian, wrong and wrong.

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  8. Eek! I can see I shall have to issue virtual boxing gloves to all visitors if this delightful sparring is to continue. May I be referee, or must I be relegated to the side of the ring with sponge and bucket?

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  9. Just keep writing and let those who will, fight among themselves!!

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  10. Whilst I'm of a vintage that was brought up to use punctuation and am not an adherent of the current trend, I do not allow it to spoil my enjoyment of other work whatever style or nomenclature may be used. I enjoyed both your pieces, Jinksy.

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  11. A literary debate?
    hehehehe...
    Hot 55 My Dear!
    Apparantly evoking LOTS of emotion.
    Thanks for playing "Fine Free" this week
    Have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

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  12. You could reline it! stagger, shorten
    break it like toffee -
    cool- and thanks for visiting!

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  13. I said yes, yes, yes
    I should have said no, no, no
    I learned the hard way

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  14. Jinksy I love them both. The prose is my favourite.
    Pamela

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  15. Much more simple distinction. A traditional Haiku usually contains a nature or season word but can be about human activity, whereas a senryu does not but can have word play and satire etc. Given the different syllabic structure of English, the form has taken off in different directions which in turn has influenced the traditional Tanka form( which is longer and more lyrical Haiku for want of better term) to create a more free flowing genre called a Gogyohka. They all draw on the same root,which is to capture concrete 'nowness' and so avoid abstraction and the presence of the author. You should read and feel the same emotions of the event as the writer when done well. One book lists nearly 100 rules for writing a Haiku and 25 different ways of approaching the form, But in reality the great masters said 'learn the rules and then forget them'

    Yes it is tricky to write out Tarzan's yell so here is the
    Yell

    Thanks for reading my Friday 55. Hope your week goes well

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  16. The last line really says a lot about the power of anger. What a great 55!

    The haiku is soooooo sad...but very very good!

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  17. Wow. Footprints run crisscross on my soul. I took the haiku form and ran with it to my own purpose expressly for my internet phase of poesy. I write the 5-7-5 form or else sometimes another, 5-7-5 7-7 5-7-5. which I read somewhere was a form used as duelling haikus in teahouses in impromptu performances. I have been writing this way for two years now.

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  18. Wow! What a powerful observation on such a negative, destroying emotion! Well Done!

    My 55 is up - bring some sugar for the horses! lol!

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  19. As usual, your 55 is well thought-out and intuitive, Jinksy! Have a great weekend!

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  20. Love the volcano metaphor. I'm up this week as well.

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  21. Very well done my friend. I like the last line of this the best. Excellent. Have a great weekend :)

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  22. Anger can be both harmful, or useful, depending upon what direction you give it! It is pure wild energy which is negative, and which can be transformed to giving positive results!

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  23. Mona- Luckily, I’ve never ever been angry like my 55! My imagination, and love of words were the inventors in this case, but I agree, there are occasions when anger can be positive. I like justice, and if I see anyone being treated unjustly, I get angry on their behalf, which gives me the impetus to sort things, if at all possible. So I totally agree with your sensible view of the subject.

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  24. I like both the poem and the prose, but got a bit waylaid by the comments. It seemed to take forever to get here, lol, but all rather interesting.

    Elizabeth

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  25. Ilike both the poem and the prose! Well done!

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  26. Great content - great comments - looks like a lot of 'I shoulda saids' going on here - what fun.

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  27. Oh yes, when you keep anger inside, it errupts like a volcana. Very nicely written. Have a great weekend.

    My 55 is here.

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  28. Thanks for this, Jinksy. I like the combo, one-two. Pow.

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  29. Wonderful haiku, and your descriptive paragraph on argument was so real and true...

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  30. Thanks for steering me here -- fun place!

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  31. The volcanic anger imagery hardly needed all 55 words!

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